September Beginnings

Wow. It has been a while since I've posted.
I need to try and write more posts. This blog was made with the intention of not having people read it (although it is nice that you do) but to sort of chronicle things that my son and I do. Not just together but things I do too. It'd be nice to have a log of that.
Speaking of which, I started school. So far all is going well, but we are two weeks in. I started out strong in my math class, biology is looking to be by far my favorite, spanish is pretty fun too, and psychology started out on a boring streak. I am hoping the psych class picks up or I fear that I will have a hard time with all that dry reading. Bio is fun because I got the lab kit and I love doing expirements. some days I really don't want to do anything and I wonder why I had to wait this long to go to school. I am tired a lot and I think that affects it too. I don't know if that is something that is a product of me being not very active, or what. It can't be because of Cain, he sleeps good, so I do too. He wakes up early, but that has been the norm for me since he was born, so that I should really be used too. I hate feeling tires so much. Some days are better than others but when I do feel that way I feel like I get nothing done. I am making a good attempt at keeping up with my classes and I think so far I am doing pretty good.
I've given up soda. I am on week 3 of no soda and I am so proud of myself. Soda was probably a bigger vice than smokes were, and I have gone without for 3 weeks so far. I still have had some caffine but not a whole lot. The first few days I went cold with none, and I took aspirin before the headache came just to kind of ward it off. After that I've had a cup of coffee here and a tea there but mostly it is water or vitamin water. now I just need to get more active. I need more hours in the day. Anyone wanna make some for me!?!
Cain is so much fun. now that he is older and playing and starting to talk I love being able to do things with him. I love seeing the look on his face when we do something fun like go to the zoo,and he sees the animals.He is still not saying much but there are things that it sounds like he is saying. I hear mama, dada, baby, and dog are the more apparent ones. he says go and up. and he is a MONSTER!!! My boy is huge! People don't believe me when I tell them how old he is, they always think he is older. His favorite thing to eat by far is watermelon. He absolutely loves it. The other day he was sitting in his highchair and we were giving him some and he had one a piece in his mouth, and oone in each and and he was whining for more on his try. I wish he felt that way about just one vegatable. He wont touch those.
So. School work is calling. I will update more often!

Getting Closer!

The end of the summer is a little over a month away.... That makes me sad, and also a little excited. I am sad because it is going to be hard and I am going to have to juggle between school, work and the little guy and it is going to be exhausting. I have had such a good time with my sweets over the last two months it really makes me regret not doing the school thing before. But I am doing this for us. So I can support us. I am older and chose to do some stupid things in my youth, and I am paying for that now, but trying my damndest to get my life in order. But, as I approach 28, I know that I did not want to wait too long to have a family. Not only have I always wanted to be a mom, Some of the last lucid words my grandmother said to me were not to wait to have a family. So at 26 I decided to have a baby. I knew it was going to be hard, but my son is soo worth it. I want to be someone that he can look up too. I want to be a role model for him. If he decides that he would like to go to college, I would like him to have someone to guide him. I want to be able to support him without having to worry.
I also want my mother to have a child that she can be proud of. My brothers and I really chose paths that took us down some bad roads and while I was lucky and got on the right track soon after I turned 18 it took one of my brothers a little longer, and one is still battling his problems, so I want to do this for my mom. I want her to be able to say that she has a child that is college educated and that makes her proud. Not that she is not proud of me now. My mom is my best friend and she is very proud of how I turned myself around and am taking care of myself, but it would be nice to give her something to be super proud of.
I also want to do it because I promised my grandma that I would.
But!
I am excited for school to start now that I have changed majors and I am excited to jump right in and get my hands dirty. I think I will do really well, I have always had an interest in science and stuff so the classes will be fun. I can't wait to get the prereq's done so that I can start the nursing program. I think after I have got the nursing part of it done, I want to look into what it would take for me to get my CNM (Certified Nurse-Midwife) because I want to be a L&D nurse, so why not go all the way and be someone who is actually allowed to deliver babies in non lifethreatening situations. That would be a dream. I am really hoping that with Cain being a little older this semester that it will be a little easier for me to do well in my classes. that way I can have more time for my baby boy.

I am going to pick up my school books today. I already have the math book and I was thinking of starting early on that so that I can get in as much practice as possible before next time.

So until next time, Pictures!
My sweets and I swimming


Uncle Bob's Elvis glasses

July '09

July'10

Where has the sleep gone?

Man I am tired. Cain is napping and I planned on napping while he was, but there was a laundry basket full of clothes looking at me saying I have been waiting for DAYS to be folded. So I just had to do it. I could not neglect it any longer. Now I know that if I were to try and take that nap now Cain would wake up. It always happens that way.Besides, I should probably get him up soon or else he will not fall asleep til later tonight and Ive got some algebra homework to do. Fun!

Jav woke me up this morning to go to breakfast and to take me to target! He got a bonus so we went and got some fun stuff at target instead of stuff that is needed. That is always fun. I got Cain some more jammies, a cute little T-Rex shirt and 4 books. We also got him a cute little monkey blanket and towel 'cause he's our liitle monkey. :D I got myself another shirt and pair of pants from the sleep wear section. The have these nice soft tank tops that are 7.99 and I've bought eight of them so far. The funny part are that 3 are the same color (gray) and 3 are another color (dark blue) and then two are the other two colors they had. I love pj's and would wear them every where if I could. I also looked at shoes, I was actually going to buy a pair of heels, but they did not have my size. I think I should own at least one pair of black heels incase I ever need to dress up (and to say I own a pair of heels lol)

I had a doctors appointment friday. I got to talk to Dr. Tran about the damage that was done when the cerclage ripped through my cervix. She said that it is healing nicely and that it would be good for another cerclage. The only problem is that it is naturally shorter than what it should be and that I WILL need a cerclage again, and possibly bedrest. I was most worried about the damage. Someone told me that with the damage I would probably have to go with a TAC (Trans-abdominal cerclage) and I kind of want to avoid that option if I can. I would like to have the birth experience again and with a TAC that is an automatic c-section. I would like to avoid invasive, major surgery at all costs.

I reaalllyyy dislike Sundays. Even more than Mondays. At least with Mondays the week has started, there is nothing you can do about it but get through it. Sundays, while giving me an sweet sweet extra day with my baby, also leave the fact of monday looming over your head. Its not that I dislike working or anything, I love the kids, and if it wasnt for them I probably wouldnt be working,but I'd like to stay home with my baby, and do school. That would be wonderful. I could finish up school and take care of my lil guy. perfect world, right?

PICTURES!!!
You can just barely see his toofies!!
I love the look on his face!!
Totally Laidback
Big Cheese!!
Ready for school, Wearing mommy's bookbag (It was empty)

Pot Roasts, Math tests, and Watermelon!!

Sooo... I just started a pot roast for dinner.
Pot roasts are yummy.
And there about one of the few things that I can make decently (that I have tried anyway).

Ive been trying to eat at home more. Which means I sometimes do more cooking. Sometimes, you may ask? Well, my choice of food at the grocery store isnt always the best. I end up getting frozen easy stuff, and if I do get any cooked stuff it is simple stuff like hamburger helper, or mac and cheese. I need to cut it out. I bought a low fat cookbook, and I am going to make a list of all the things needed to make good healthy food. Ive started exercising somewhat, now I just need to eat correctly to go with that.

I should be doing some studying for algebra. I had planned on dropping the class because I had gotten so far behind in it, but Ive already dropped a class this semester that was an accelerated course, and I have to pass at least 66%of the classes I signed up for in order to keep the financial aid in good standing. with the algrebra class that would be 75%but if I dropped it they would more than likely take my aid away. I spoke with the teacher and he said that as long as I do not miss any more classes and I am producing at least D work on all remaining tests and homework that I will pass with a C grade. So I am hoping to do the best I can causeI didnt want to really drop this class in the first place. It sucks when your whole household is sick with a tummy virus. It seriously knocks you out of the loop and it sucks trying to get back in. But I am determined. If only so I dont have to take this class again next semester. I need math to be done with already.

Ive been giving the little guy fruit in his little net thingy. He usually loves the baby bananas, but he did not like the real thing. I dont blame him bananas are yucky! lol But he has taking a liking to another fruit that I cant stand. Watermelon! Eew!! But I am glad that he is taking a liking to fruit. He also liked the honeydew I gave him this morning. Man what a big little boy he is turning into. I watch him and I want another one already. It seems as though everyone I know (online and IRL (In real life))is ending up pregnant or are going through there pregnancy journeys, and I want to so badly. But I also want to wait. I want to finish a bit more schooling first so that way I am not trying to split my time between Cain, a new baby and school, it wouldnt be fair to Cain. the new baby or me in regards to school. So we wait.

When I got put on bed rest, I found a website that kept me sane. It was a website devoted to IC and women who have it. It was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time, because it gave me lots of information and the women I made friends with on there are the best support. Well, I bought a support bracelet from that website and I got it in the mail yesterday. Here it is:



Isn' it beautiful? The little blue bead is to signify Cain and the little pendant says hope. It was so worth it to me cause the woman who runs the site is amazing and I hope she keeps it up. She is an inspiration to me and when I start getting scared at the thought of having another baby I think of her. She beat IC 4 times. Amazing!

well to end this now and do my much needed studying, I'll leave you with some pictures of the little guy!


My stinker pulling up and playing in his crib


Cain and his handsome daddy


I like the way he is sleeping here... Backwards in his crib with feet crossed like mommy

Teething, Crawling, and an AMAZING movie

I love watching Cain grow. It all happens so fast. One minute he is a tiny little baby, waking me up every couple of hours to eat and be changed. Now he is a big 22 lber and he is damn near crawling, and he's getting his second tooth, and pulling up all over everyting. I can't believe it. I look at the kids at work and I try to imagine Cain being a 3 year old, talking and running around and saying the funniest stuff. Kids are so honest, they tell you exactly what they think. Bayli- a little girl in my class- asked me the other day if I had another baby in my tummy. After I got done laughing, I had to explain to her that I do not- I am just fat. lol But it is things like that that I cant wait to see what Cain is going to come up with. At the same time, I am missing my little baby. I wish that they could stay smaller for just a little bit longer. I miss the little guy who wanted to be held and cuddled next to momma. My little guy does not like to be a cuddle bug. He is so curious and wants to explore. Which is good cause that is what he should be doing, but momma misses the cuddles hehe

As for the other part of what Bayli said. Yeah. I need to do something to lose some weight. Especially if I want to think about having another baby. I need to be in decent shape especially if I am going to have to do bedrest again. Not only that but I would look a little better, and I would probably have a little more energy. Now, to quit talking about it and actually doing it.
I watched 'The Business of Being Born' just recently. It was a very good documentary about having a baby in the hospital vs. going to a midwife and having a home birth. Before all the complications we were planning on having Cain in a birth center and I wanted a water birth. Post cerclage I was told that that was not possible because I was high risk. watching this movie made me sad for what I missed out on. I wonder though, when I have the next one, what about after the cerclage is removed? I wonder if it would be possible to have that experience then, assuming that it doesnt go as last time did and the cerclage is being removed at birth. If it is possible that may be something to look into. I wonder if I could do it. I had an epidural with Cain. I would like to think that I am strong enough to go au natural. It would be nice not to have all those IV's and stuff attached to you. I think it would be nice to be able to move around. Best of all would be the chance to help deliver my own baby. To be the one that brings him/her to my chest and to hold on to the baby for a few minutes. I didnt get that with Cain. Jav didnt get to cut the cord. Don't get me wrong, I think I had a pretty decent birth experience with Cain, I was lucky. But it would be nice to entertain the thought that maybe we might be able to do it the way we had wanted to the first time.

Well its time for me to go to work, so I leave you with pictures!

Time Flies!

Are we really already 4 days away from the end of February, and 3 days away from my lil man being 9 months old? Where the hell does the time go?!?

Things have been crazy with the start of school. It seems as though I am always doing something. Homework, working, taking care of the lil guy, cleaning the house or doing laundry, it never ends (especially the laundry!)! Life is so different from what it was a year ago. A year ago, I had just started my bedrest. I would be on bed rest until May. I would be sleeping all day and staying up all night and trying to make sure my lil guy stayed put. Now that lil guy is here and he is not so little anymore, I am up no later than 730 am every (and I mean EVERY morning) and the idea of down time to me now is getting an hour to watch general hospital in between everything else. But I would not change it for the world (well except for maybe getting a little help with the cleaning and laundry, sometimes I feel like a damn maid cleaning up after two grown ass men).

Jav, Cain, and I have been sick. Nasty stomach virus sick. Its been pretty disgusting. I hope its over, I hate having a yucky tummy. I can take a cold, congestion whatever no problem, but when it comes to a yucky tummy I am a big baby. Maybe that is why I got spared the morning sickness when I was pregnant, because my body knew I couldnt handle the nausea.

My lil guy is getting so big! He is doing an army crawl and getting all over the house in a matter of minutes. He started pulling up on sunday, going after the remotes on the coffee table. he is so cute. I love him so much. I can't believe that in three months he will be a year old. I am beginning to think about another one. Jav and I have talked about it too. We both would like to have another sooner rather than later, but I want Cain to be a year old first. I want to be active and give him a first birthday, and have some time with him before I possibly take on the bed rest journey again. I also get terrified when I think about another one. What if a cerclage doesnt work the next time. I get so scared just thinking about it. But it makes me sad to think of not having another lil baby. I also want to get into really good shape before having another, that way if I do have to take on the bedrest again, I wont have to battle the bulge as bad later.

Any how there is a quick update! I need to go back and see where in my pregnancy story I was and take it up again. For now though, Pictures!!