Happy 11 months Baby Boy!

Can it really be a year ago that I was nearing the end of my bedrest journey and not even knowing it? I still had a baby inside me who got the hiccups everyday, and only liked to move when I was sleeping, A baby that would kick his daddy in the back when we would cuddle at night, but would hardly kick for him when he put his hand on my belly. A baby that I didn't know the sex of, already had a lot of pictures of (I had sonograms every two weeks from 19 weeks to 29 weeks plus a couple after that for my AFI's) and already loved uncontrollably. I cant believe that my little 6lb 12oz'er is now over 25 lbs, and is oh so big. I can't believe that he crawls, walks along the furniture, babbles up a storm, eats like a champ, and just smiles all the time. He is such a happy baby. I am so happy that he is in my life, and that I am his mom.

This picture was taken at 27 5/7 weeks on April 3rd 2009. It does not seem like this picture was taken over a year ago (Please excuse the bed head and the slightly showing belly)


A year ago today I was 31 1/7 weeks pregnant. today I have an 11 month old. I love my life.

Made Another One

I think I like this one a little bit better. It looks a little better because I had a little better handle on what I was doing. So fun to customize these!

New blog template! Made by me!!

I was feeling creative.

I think that there are a lot of cute blog template's out there, but I wanted something more personable. So I decided to do one of my very own making! I am lucky that I live with two guys that are very photoshop savvy, and that they were able to help me when I got stuck. Thanks Jav and Bob!! I think I also got a bit of a handle on how to do it, so I just might spend more time making these templates instead of finding them online. I am so proud of myself! I think for a first attempt it didn't come out to bad. What do you think?

I am not conventional

Why do I say this? There are quite a few reasons.

First, which seems to be everyone's 'big thing', I am not religious. If I had to call it something, I would say I am 'agnostic atheist', that is to say, I do not believe in god, but I do not claim to know that a god does not exist. I do not believe in god because there is not concrete proof in my opinion to prove his existance. If someone could prove to me without a doubt that there was a god, I would believe. This makes me unconventional.

I could care less about appearance. I am not a girly girl. Sure sometimes I like to have a nice pair of shoes, or occasionally like to put makeup on, but I could not tell you the last time I wore a dress, or had a 'girls night out'. I am perfectly happy staying home, hair in a pony, jeans or sweats on and playing poker with the boys. Its been too long since we had a poker night. Hopefully when Jay comes we can squeeze one in.

I read. I like to learn. I could care less about 'celeb' gossip. I like rock music, but can pass on country. I like Barack Obama. I like black. Pink makes me sick. I love kids, but enjoy having quiet time. I like to indulge the kid in me, therefore I read things like Harry Potter and Twilight. I also am a romantic. I have the love of my life and the child I always wanted and while I would like to be married, I do it his way, because he means that much. And I am okay with it. I paint my toes but not my fingers. I weigh more than I should, but I think that if people really cared to know anything about me they could look past how I look, and I get proved right every day. I actually like my friends. I like to hang out with them, debate with them, be honest with them. Honest. There is a concept. More people should use it. I am not clicky. By this I mean that I am not going to try to be something I am not to get what I want.

I may not be conventional, but I think I am a good person. I am someone worth knowing. What does it matter what I wear or what I do or don't believe in? Sure people have to have some commonalities in order to hit it off, but variety is the spice of life, and friends are meant to learn and grow with each other. I love the friends I have. They mean so much to me. It is hard for me to let new people in cause it is so hard to know who you can trust anymore, and my fears on this point just grew when I had my son. But I always love to meet like (and unlike) minded people. Had to get that off my chest.

Almost Summer!!

School is less than a month away from being over.I am so excited for this fact! I love having the few summer months to unwind and take a little break from the hectic schedule that is working and school. The best part about this summer break? I have my little boy to spend it with!! Oh how I can't wait! His birthday is May 27th and I take my last final May 18th, so I am trying to get his birthday and the day after off so that I can start our vacation with lots of mommy-baby time. I am doing his birthday on the 29th so I'll have that to get ready for too. I already have some stuff bought for his party and I found some cute cake decorations online that I want to order and then see if I can have Fry's make the cake. This is the cake I want to have made:
I like it much better than any of the cakes the stores have, because everything is Elmo. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with Elmo, but Sesame Street is more than just Elmo.
Another thing I am looking forward to is being able to really clean my house. Ive been keeping it decent, what with having to clean up after a baby and sometimes the boys, but I am looking forward to really cleaning it up. I love a clean house. It makes me feel so organized.
Thing number 3 I am looking forward to? Reading a book for myself!!! I bought a new Mary Higgins Clark book I would like to read. I love MHC. Good thriller/ murder mysteries. I would also like to re-read Drowning Ruth. Good novel. Also a couple of Danielle Steel books I would like to re-read. If I can squeeze it in a Anna Maxted too. So many books, so little time. There are lots of good books on my bookshelf, I think I'll need to make a separate post about books in the future. I just want to fit as many as I can in before having to be consumed by school books again.
Swimming would be the last thing off the top of my head that I am looking forward to. I love to swim. I love the water in general. Sitting in a warm bath, a jacuzzi, a pool the lake the ocean you name it. Last summer I took Cain swimming in the middle of July, and that Is when he first smiled at me. I cant wait to take him again.

So, its time to go to work. Leaving with pics.

Major change, Random Musings, and things

To start this post I want to put something that I saw as a post (on Facebook) by my boyfriends teacher Aunt that lives in Texas:

23,000 teachers were given pink slips in CA & 17,000 in IL. New Jersey & FL are cutting teacher jobs & reducing salaries as well. We need to get our priorities in order. Athletes get paid millions, but teachers who we trust to help raise & educate our kids get no respect! In honor of ALL teachers, copy & paste this into your status.

I have not looked into this to verify its truth, but if this is true (which I tend to think it is very possible it could be)this is disgusting and I think that we as a country spend waaaay too much money on other things but put off giving our children a good education, which is ridiculous, because in the "long run" the best possible thing they could do for the country is to educate the minds that will someday be in charge. Not only that, but I believe that it is a natural human instinct to want to learn and grow, and I just can't understand how we could deny our children that. This leaqds into my Major change. I am going to try and get into Pima's nursing program. I need about 5 more prereq's before I can apply to the program so next semester I am going to take classes towards that. I dont make this change lightly either. But with the current state of things, not only in our state, but in the whole country, I am afraid of coming out of school with all these student loans and not having a job available to me to start paying them back. That would not be such a big deal to me, if it was not for Cain. I need to be able to support my baby. Plus I've always said that I would explore nursing if I couldnt/changed my mind about education. I think I would be good at it, and my long term goal would be to work in labor and delivery. I think I would be good at it considering how interested I am in the birthing process, and I really think that my knowledge of the other (sad) side of what could happen would be a good quality and give me a unique empathy that would help me connect with patients. But I am getting ahead of myself. I need to get into the program first. I need to pass math 92 first. I need to make it through this year first.
On to some randomness. I've got a couple of different random things. First I was watching 20/20 tonight and they were talking about a woman who did not know she was pregnant. She already had 3 kids. WHAT?!? How can you have three kids and not know you are pregnant? how is it possible? It can't be? I could understand if it was her first child and she was like me and had irregular periods. I could get that. To a point. Even with how irregular I am I still managed to find out I was pregnant at about 6 weeks along. How do you not feel your baby moving? she had a 9lb 9oz BABY. how do you not feel that moving around in you?! Cain was 6lb 12oz and I felt him all the time. This idea is bizarre to me. what is even more bizarre is that her husband had had a vasectomy. There is less than a 1% chance that someone can get pregnant. Well either this girl won the "against all odds" lottery, or something else is going on. other randomness....

I watched this video that one of my facebook friends posted about a "nanny" babysitter. This lady was slamming an 11 month old on the ground, throwing him onto a playpen, smacking him across the back of his head, kicking him, kicking /throwing stuff at him. an 11 month old.that is only 1 month older than my sweets. All I could see when I watched that video was My baby sitting there playing with a ball and being hit by some grown ass woman. It made me cry for that poor innocent little child. A baby. Ive always hated reading about this stuff before and thought that people like this deserved to rot in whatever pit of despair they are thrown into. But now, to be a mother and see this makes me want to beat that woman senseless. I am sorry if that offends some of you, but if I EVER caught anyone doing that to my son they better call the cops on themselves and hope I dont get to them first. Not even just my son. ANY child. My son. My niece and nephew. The kids I care for at work. The kid across the street. The kid across town. You get the point. It makes me sick. I understand even less the parents that can do this to their children. I saw a new clip online about baby Brianna Lopez. I bawled for over an hour for this poor poor baby. She was only like 6 month old and her parents were MONSTERS. I am not going to go into it here, and if you plan to look it up I am warning you now her story is very horrifying. I dont believe in hell, but I hope her parents rot in it. I am sorry. This is morbid I know. But this is just something that I feel so strongly about lately.

Easter was good. We did Easter at my mom's the week before so on Easter weekend we went to Jav's mom's house. Saturday we went to My mom's BF's (Marcos') work for an egg hunt. Cain had a good time. I love to see that boy smile (which is all the time when he isn't cranky) I also love taking him to work with me. He always has so much fun playing with the other babies.

Sorry bout the late Easter stuff, I felt Grandma Sam deserved the first post for April.

I am tired, so I am leaving you with..... Pictures!!!


This is so not posed!

Charging the Easter Basket

Mickey Mouse ears my mom brought him back from Disneyland

Playing with eggs

Playing with Shyla and Samantha

Playing with toys at my work

Shyla's cutie smile and Cain and the infamous upside down binky!

Cain looking for eggs!

Happy Birthday Grandma Sam

You would have been 73 years old today. 73 is so young. There are so many people that are older than that and are still going strong. I wish you were one of those people. It makes me so mad and sad. If they had just found that first stroke, if they had just listened to Aunt Lezlie when she told them that that is what she thought had happened to you. After taking a first aid class and hearing all the signs of someone having a stroke, you were definitely projecting. Why couldnt they have caught it damn it!

I wish that I had spent more time with you. Sure I was in the hospital with you a lot at the end, but I mean before. I wish that I could have done more things with you as I got older. I wish that you were still here. And I wish that you could have met Cain. You would love him grandma, he is the cutest little thing. But I think you know him already dont you. You know that I not one that is religious. But after months of trying I just happen to become pregnant the month after you leave us? I dont think that was a coincidence. Then when all the IC stuff happened, they just happened to catch it in time, I just happened to carry him to term? I dont think that that was a coincidence either. One of the last things you said to me in one of the last lucid conversations we had you told me not to wait to have a family. you helped me have that family didnt you grandma? thank you. I love you so much.

I am still in school grandma. I am having a hard time right at the momnent, with both my math class and considering changing majors, but I am doing it. I promised you remember? you told me to stick with it. I am doing this for you grandma, and Cain.

We miss you soooo much grandma. Its hard to believe that you have been gone for a year and a half. I wish that you were still here. We had some good times. I love you. Happy birthday!!