6 Months Ago Today and Tomorrow

Damn. I cannot believe that six months ago today I was supposed to be attending a gestational diabetes class. That as registering for that class I thought I peed my pants in the worst way. That I then realized my water broke! 6 months ago today started the journey that would bring my son into the world on the 27th. I can't believe my baby boy will be 6 months old tomorrow. In less than 24 hours. that at 2:48am I met the best little boy in the whole world who changed my life forever, and I now could not imagine my life without him.
My baby boy at the Park

Today on Thanksgiving I am thankful for my little boy. The rough road and downright scary moments throughout my pregnancy make me so grateful that he is here and safe and healthy. I am grateful that I have such great people in my life that love my son as much as I do. I am grateful that I have a mom who is always there for me and helps me out with everything and is my best friend. I am grateful for a boyfriend who loves his son, and me, and when the going got tough, he stayed. I am grateful for a "mom in law" (not married but she might as well be) That does more than I can say for me and my son. I have a lot to be grateful for and this year I am able to see it more than years past. I love everyone. :)




My Mom and My baby boy

Pregnancy Story Part 4: Smooth Sailing

So after the first sonogram there was not much to report. I had an easy first half of my pregnancy. I was tired all the time but I didn't have much other symptoms. I did not have the morning sickness, sore boobs or any of that. It was alot easier than I expected it to be. I continued to work and go to school. I went to my doctors appointments once a month. Jav went with me when he could. They finally found the heartbeat on the doppler so we got to listen to the baby's heart beat at the appointments. I quit smoking as well. I didn't mention it in a previous post, but I quit smoking just before going to the sonogram, in November. I didn't go back to smoking either, That makes it a year this month that I have now been a non smoker. So we went on with the appointments and everything was fine. I was asked to come in early to do the glucose test. Being a heavier patient, they wanted to test me early. So I went in to take the one hour, and of course failed it. Does anyone pass the one hour? I've never heard of it. Anyhow, so I had to go back for the 3 hour. I had to take some time off of work for it and I went on a Tuesday. December 3rd. I took my schoolwork with me so that I had something to keep me occupied. This time the stuff was not as good, it was more sweet (I liked the stuff the first time around, I had the orange.) So I had my blood drawn, drank the stuff and then sat there for three hours and had my arm poked every how on the hour. I used to have good viend in my arm, but after this pregnancy, I think they are collapsed lol. So I finished up and they told me that I could call in a couple of days to find out the results. I left and headed off to work. When I got to work I used the bathroom, and something unsusal happened. **this is where my disclaimer comes into effect** I didn't think anything of it but I had a large amount of clear discharge. Like on huge glob. I thought it looked like snot. I had heard that it was normal to have an increase in discharge in pregnancy so I just thought that this was finally starting to happen to me. I went about my day like nothing happened. This brings us up to the 3rd. Two days away from the big anatomy scan! and consequently the worst day of my whole pregnancy.

tiredness with a crazy schedule

I'm so tired. All the time. Have been since the baby's been born. At first I thought that I would get over it, you know, the new baby sleepies, when your up every 3 hours and such. But I am getting decent sleep now. Have been for quite some time. But I still find it hard to get out of bed. I find it hard to get up with the baby, hard to get up to go to school, just hard to get up period. I need to see a doctor, but I have to battle with DES to get my AHCCCS back. *sigh* There is always so much to do. Wake up. Feed and change baby. Do whatever dishes the boys dirtied the night before, or I didnt feel like washing before going to sleep. play with baby, giving him plenty of interaction time. Feed baby and get him down for first nap. Do some homework. Laundry. go to school. more dishes. fold laundry. go to work. watch other peoples kids for 4 hours a day. go home. get baby back and take care of him til bed time anywhere between 630/700 ish. sometimes make dinner. do dishes. shower. go to bed. repeat. The practicum I am doing is interesting and the teacher mentoring me is awesome. I just feel so bad because I get so tired by the middle of the day I am practically falling asleep in her class. It has got to get better I know it has. It just seems to be taking so long. **Yaaaaawn** going to bed. Night all.

My Dad and Cain

Pregnancy Story Part 3: First Sonogram

So my first sonogram was to date my pregnancy. We set it for December 4th because it was a Thursday and Jav had Thursdays off. I had to work but they gave me the time off to go to the sonogram. I came and picked up Jav and we headed off to Obstetrix. This was to date my pregnancy because we were not so sure what the due date was. I was supposed to be 15 weeks according to my last period, but the Midwife said that my uterus did not feel that big. So when we got to Obstetrix I had to fill out all the paper work and stuff and then we had to sit and wait for awhile. Apparently Obstetrix was a high risk practice contracted with the hospital, but it was also where lots of local doctors sent their patients to get sonograms. I would learn all about this later.So when we finally got called back we went back with the lady and she got us all set up in a room, and then the sonogram was under way!! we saw our little baby doing little flips in my tummy, it was the coolest thing!! she measured the baby and took some pics for us, and then we got to hear its heartbeat!! We hadnt been able to with the doppler yet, so this was the first time. I think at that moment is when it became real to the both of us. I got all teary-eyed and Jav was laughing and saying " How cool". We left with a revised due date from May 25th to June 28th. A five week difference!! We also left with some cute sonogram pics!



My sweet first sono pics!

Christmas shopping should not be like pulling teeth!!

I am so proud of myself for being a responible mommy and getting a lot of my homework done last night so that I could spend the day with my gorgeous, handsome, baby boy!! yay me!! We got up this morning around 6:30 (Cain does not yet realize that that is a god awful hour to be awake, but this morning mommy took it in stride) and we hung out with Jav a bit before he went to bed. I realized that my pay check should have come through today and so I called my bank to get the balance. Sure enough it was there. It was then that I got the bright idea to get my Christmas shopping done early!I wasn't even going to do Christmas this year, what with work cutting my hours in half and me basically now only making enough to cover my bills and have just a little money left over. Well, I changed my mind. I decided to get christmas presents mostly for the kids, but got one for my Mom and Marcos, I got one for Rosie and I am gonna get one for my dad and Jav with my next "free" (non-rent)check. I got Alexis (Marcos's niece who grew up with around us, she is ten) and Elisa (my niece) these little princess dolls that are miniature and they come with a couple of different snap on outfits. I got my cousin Sammy (who is 14) a $15 gift card to I tunes because apparently she got an I pod touch and is all into that now. I got PJ (my Nephew) and Emmett and Stefan (my 8 and 10 year old little brothers) Transformers. Cain got 3 new books (4 if you count the Polar bear one I've already read to him) one of those ring stacker things where the rings are stacked on the yellow post and get smaller towards the top and I got him this little froggy rattle (momma's trying to pass her obession with froggies on to her son) that comes with these little pop boxes where you can push the thing in and it pops out. I don't think I'll share the adult gifts, don't want to spoil any surprises. I am glad that I got my shopping done before Thanksgiving this year. I hate trying to shop after Thanksgiving, hell I hate doing anything that involves going to a store after Thanksgiving. But it is done, and I hope that the last two gifts I have to run out and buy wont be too much of a hassle.

I did dress Cain in his little outfit we recieved in the mail the other day from his great Aunt Bibi. He looked so cute. I am not a NBA fan so I dont mind that she sent a Spurs outfit. Hell, Sean Elliot played for them along with Steve Kerr so they got some of there best players from right here (UofA).

pregnancy story part 2: First Doctor's Appointment

So after all the waiting for my first appointment, and believe me, it seemed to take for ever, came around on November 20th. We got to do all the paper work (well, I got to do it) and then we met with the midwife. I was going to The Birth and Women's Helath Center and we were considering delivering there too. So when we met with the midwife she asked a bunch of questions, and afterwards we tried to get the heartbeat with the doppler. We were not able to pick it up and that made me kind of nervous. The midwife, after feeling my abdomen said that it was nothing to worry about. I was supposed to be 13 weeks pregnant based of my LMP (Last Menstral Period) but the midwife said that i was more like 8 to 10 weeks based on the size of my uterus. They had me do a pap and some blood work and they got what days worked best for me so that they could get me set up with a sonogram to date my pregnancy. So we left that appointment looking forward to getting a sonogram done. I had already told everyone on my side that I was pregnant but Jav kept holding out. I think he was nervous that I was going to miscarry like I did the last time. I was being optimistic. Everything was looking good so far so I thought that this time was going to be better than the last time. After all this time it was planned and not a surprise. We were happy about this. We wanted it. and here it was :)

What's right?

My Little Guy's First time in jeans

Looking back at my last post where I said " if I had done things right the first time...." well I've been thinking alot about that today. Maybe it is because I am tired, maybe it is because I am staying up to get homework done so that I can spend the day with my baby and not at the computer, that it got me thinking again "man, if I had only done this right the first time"... but really if I did where would I be? Certainly not in the shoes I am in today.

If I had stayed in high school, I would have possibly went to college straight out of high school. I could be done with my degree and teaching by now. Hell, I could have probably even payed off my student loans! I would have a job at a local school, health benefits, vacation and sick time. I would have more time to spend doing my own thing. More time with my son. But wait. ig I had taken that path, would I have even had my son.

I dropped out of high school. I spent my time sleeping all day and going to raves at night. This is where I met Rachel, who in turn introduced me to Sarrah. I was in need of a job at the time I met Sarrah, and when it came to it, she told me to come and apply at her work (APAC). I went and got my GED because you had to have one to work there. Three days after recieving my pass on the GED I got the Job at APAC. This is where I met Javier.

If I had not met javier I certainly would not have my son. I may have another little boy, or girl with someone else, and I am sure if that was what had happened I would lovethat baby either way. But it would not be my son. Cain. My baby. It would not be part of my love, Jav.

Every choice I have made in my life has brought me to where I am today. On nights like this when I am tired and wanting to sleep and doing homework so that I can start a career I probably should have started when I was 24, I can think to myself, "damn, why didn't I just do it then?" but then I look at what I have and I KNOW that I would not change what I have right now in this moment for anything in the world. I love my little family and this will pass, and we will make it. Together.

My Handsome boy